I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
