so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
