mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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