Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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