So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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