Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
