Welp...herpes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Four minutes until I can fart!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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