3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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