I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize