I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
