Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
