lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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