You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
