Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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