period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
