Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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