That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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