the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
