I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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