can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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