Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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