he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
