this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
