Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
