Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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