My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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