We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
