i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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