omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
