I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
