god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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