They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize