Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
