Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
