girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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