he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
