Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
