youre lurking in front of me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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