i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
