I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
