I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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