I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
