I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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