i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
