hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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