I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
