So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
