apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
