Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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