how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
