He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
