I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
