I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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