thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
