i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
