haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
