i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
