suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
