So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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