i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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