That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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