we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
